Elliott Manley
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Our Prossie

I thought of her affectionately as “our prossie”.
On the corner of our street every night, short and round, her blond perm equally curly in all directions. You could tell the front by the glow of her cigarette.

About the Microstories

In the days before Twitter, ThePhoneBook.com was an Arts Council-funded project to make very short works of fiction (150 characters or less) available by SMS. Prosaically, the web address ThePhoneBook.com is now owned by British Telecom and I have no idea what happened to the excellent stories that others wrote for the project. The stories I wrote are presented here, and were also collected in the second edition of my book How Poetry Can Damage Your Clothes. Writing these was fun and addictive. I’m not sure I can recommend doing it, though; for ages afterwards I felt that any story that takes more than two sentences to tell wasn’t worth telling.

Reincarnation

Roger prayed to come back as Britney Spiers’s bicycle saddle. God granted Roger’s wish but by then Britney was 72 and she rarely rode him.

Elasticated Waistband

“Have you been for a run?” asked Julie.
Phoebe was confused. “Ah. The tracksuit. No, I wear it so I can eat more.”

Microsoft’s Word

Thou shalt not use “which” except after a comma nor shalt thou write in the passive voice.

Body and Soul

I once knew a spiritual woman who decried all worldly things. She was fierce in defence of her faith and fiercer when the washing machine broke down.

Playtime

“This game is our special secret – even from mummy”
Thirty years on she cried at his funeral and thought she was free. But she kept their secret.

The Yoga Class

She stood on one leg, So did the class. She sat in the lotus. So did the class. She scratched her ear. There was a moment of confusion.

The Bequest

With weeks to live, Mary sold her home to share her money and furniture among the grandchildren.
Instead of joy, her recovery caused awkwardness.

Alien Abduction

“Alien Abduction! What nonsense you do talk!” said Xzrt5 to Zdjf7 as he peeled open Simon’s chest.

Amnesia

A bump on the head made Malcolm Powell forget his name, his address and his debts of £142,000. By the time he remembered, he had a new life.

Flicks

Keanu Reeves, Brad Pitt, Pierce Brosnan; she thrilled to the all.
When she couldn’t afford tickets, she dreamed of them.
And that was even better.

Advice to Writers

A writer should draw on a lifetime of experience. Being very young, David Jones writes very short stories.

A life of Service

The young knight grew as strong as a simile and served the Crown with metonymy until, with hyperbolic metaphor, he died a thousand deaths.

Walking Home From the Ballet, Amsterdam

When the rain came it was torrential.
I sheltered under an awning, leaning against a door.
The door unexpectedly opened inwards and I fell onto a man and a woman.
Briefly we lay together in a damp heap.
He scrambled to his feet and ran off into the rain, embarrassed.
I laughed.
The prostitute was furious.
© 2015 Elliott Manley
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